Well long time nv post.... seriously..... i really hate myself for wad i am..... i really hope tht i can change to become a better person.... the best person tht everyone like .... but i juz find it hard to do so.... anyone can help me???? really.... i hated being called names by ppl , especially ppl like bala.... but how am i going to change myself for the better so tht ppl will look at the bright side of mi & how am i going to change in order to stop letting ppl call me names? i'm asking myself... y... how....

Juz now , as i was looking at nick's blog , he said" i "nearly fougt with my frens" this reminds mi of te fight between me & marcus & everything began to changed.... seriously... even i feel tht i'm really a useless person... only noe how to find trouble & almost got into the hands of the discipline commitee... but lucky it didnt happen..... i hate ppl calling me names which i hate which i dun like it..... thts y i hate bala.... but last thursday this is wad happen: i found a place to eat nx to the lecture threatre , tht is the stairs.... den i start to disturb marcus for fun.... den aft tht he called me the name which i hated the most , upon hearing tht , i took te takeover food box & threw it on his face.... we 2 had a fight.... den ppl who noe mi well will noe when i get irritated i'm super guai lan..... aft tht we 2 didnt talk for a while.... but aft all i blamed myself for wad i've done.... i shouldnt hv whacked him & to take back wadeva i've given him.... but now... realli... everything around me changed.... i blame no one but myself for causing all this trouble..... coz i may be a hot tempered person at times..... well.... i guess marcus wont be as gd as how he treated mi before this incident.... although he is like kinda forgotten all abt it.... but nvm... its my fault..... this is wad i hate myself for... i really hope tht i can stop this from happening... and the best of all.... our firendshipo will be back to wad it is before this........... well i guess marcus wont be celebrating my bdae for mi anymore on 27 Sept.... coz of this incident.... hopefully i get to changed... although my bdae has nv got celebrated by frens / buddies before.... juz recall tht day when he sae he going t ocelebrate it for mi... i was very happy at tht time..... but for now..... i guess...... this will not happen anymore....... i juz wanna get myself changed to a better person... anyone can help me with this....? i hope so.... before i end off.... i'd like to remind my frnes whom view my blog..... i dun want u to feel as sad & miserable as wad i'm now.... so be careful of ur actions or u will lose wad u hv.... hope the day will come where everything is back to normal..... but will the day ever come.....?