feeling sleepy , yesterday slept at 130am in the midnite i'm feeling sleepy & went to bed at 9.30pm but cant sleep all the way till 11pm , den go play com till 1 am den go slp......

a dreamless sleep till 6.30am , i woke up & felt tht the cold winds blew but i feel quite fresh , well at least now i treated bala & marcus as i dunno them & they dun exist in class..... my mind feel relaxed.... but 1 thing is i going tell myself , even if the CTR script i'm doing with xian wei & marcus , i'll juz ignore marcus... like wad i sae our friendship in the past its all fake.... i juz wanna start a fresh with myself... so from today onwards till the day they accepted me back..... i'll take as they dun exist in this class.... rather den i keep such problems in my heart & make myself too stressed up.... spoiling my health only.... who knows if i keep all this in my heart i may even lose control & commit suicide? i may be alone , but i'll stand firm independently & i wont leave the world without finishing wad i want & my goals....

hope tht nichoals can make it this friday..... ytd in msn this is wad he told me " disturb disturb lor... juz ignore.... they will get along with u one day.... so while waiting... i choose to hate for this moment to calm myself & give myself PEACE...

There is 1 sentence tht marcus say & i shall juz take it as it isnt been said..... he told me tht on my bdae before the weekend he'll prepare things for me & celebrate for me... well dun need.... i'm used to it as in my life my bdae wasn't celebrated by frens before & i'm used to it.... but if my fren will to celebrate for me.... i'll surely be truely happy.... its still the same aft which.....

Anyway.... my heart is eclipse now...... i'm still thinking.... is life always unfair? if i disturb ppl provoke.... .they can crticize ppl but ppl cannot criticize them.... is this friendship? or is this double faced? Anyone can answer?